Fanning tittle-tattle in Cressroads as loose ends queue for attention
Stop the blog. Or pause to take stock, determines the town hack.
After a follower of his blog is moved to comment how 12 months of reading the Continuing Story of Cressroads leaves him with images of a ‘lost and troubled man’ behind the telling of episodes that remain shy of any conclusion.
Alresford’s Mr Blogsbody!
An ex-redtop Fleet Street reporter with a barrister for an only son by his first set of nuptials; remarried for seven months to a French-Canadian fashion writer; and then wedding his third wife who, 18 years ago, left him to raise their three young children.
Until Blogsbody grows old disgracefully in Hogshire’s Alresford-on-Arle, and reports on a dysfunctional outcome in respect of two sons as well as catch-up news of their sister quitting the pub game to work out of Flint, North Wales, as a call girl.
Blogsbody’s 29-year-old daughter Keogh interrupts: “For smut’s sake! When it’s only hours since you were blogging how Winchester’s prospective parliamentary LibDem candidate Martin Tod was to be found parked up in a police vehicle shining its headlights on Cressroads’ infamous dogging rendezvous.
“As true, I’m sure, as me finding employment at a North Wales call centre for a major food chain - after managing the Arms at Tichborne - but, if Winchester police has time to show a prospective MP the sights in Greater Cressroads, does anyone really care?
“Unless, perhaps, the constituency’s Blue Brigade finds itself inundated with demands for equal time from all of the candidates on its patch?
”Oh, silly me!” Keogh knows better than to answer herself thinking aloud.
“So, hey! Here we go again. And for Poppa Blogsbody to be found fanning more tittle-tattle in Greater Cressroads, if not creating it, then looking to blog what happens next.”
As it happened, the very moment in time Mike Bell - an otherwise unknown but self-confessed follower of the town hack’s blog for many months - appeared out of the anonymity of its hits to complain of assorted loose ends troubling his tidy reader’s mind.
‘What an interesting web you weave with the help of all of your offspring,’ he notes. ‘But, last year, you introduce one member of your family, whose mention is not concluded - and, now, we come to hear of your Welsh granddaughter Daisy-Mae.
‘Blogsbody, you seem a lost and troubled man?” questions the saga’s longstanding fan.
“Don’t know any Mike Bell - so show yourself,” challenges the town hack. But determined to begin to attend to loose ends in his developing cast of hundreds, and plot how best to keep alive, put on a back-burner or wipe clean any potential excess of characters.
‘So looking forward to hearing more of events surrounding those tales that await a deserved measure of conclusion in your Continuing Story of Cressroads,’ persists Mr Ding-a-Ling’s latest post from cyberspace.
