Trevor-the-Wid is shepherding lost Cressroadians back to their pews
All the safer for the fitting of an emergency petrol cap, Blogsbody motored back from Halfords through the Worthys - Abbots, Kings and Martyr - in time for Sunday hours and marinated roast lamb fresh from Chef Stewpot’s kitchen at the Arms in Cressroads.
“Ah, Moses! And, by Jesus, looking a holy picture of yourself in your light grey Sunday-best,” hailed the town hack at his sight of inflation-proof Ovington’s newly-appointed churchwarden Trevor-the-Wid, sat down in the lounge bar to his preferred serving of roast beef, Yorkshire pud and fresh veg.
“You’ve left your boys at home, then?” Cressroads town hack asked after Trevor’s fearsome brace of black labradors, usually found sitting at his either side setting off his flowing white locks and matching mustache.
“I’ve a baptism at three, old boy - and you?”
“Not the same, don’t we know, but just through with the christening of ’Lady Hyphen of Cheriton’. Dressed in purple and sat outside with Sarah. See. All but under the motto for the Sign of the Arms: Pugna pro patria. And, did you hear, two of Tichborne’s village boys home from the wars?” Blogsbody digressed.
“You don’t say,” Trevor appeared confused.
But less so as Blogsbody went on to discuss alerting the county weekly to the news of Trevor’s appointment to the rank of churchwarden in Rector Phil Collins’ Arle Valley Benefice of Four Parishes.
“Father Phil was telling me how well chuffed he is to see you so diligently at work. Tending to all that is demanded of you at Ovington’s Church of St Peter. Then for you to be out and about the benefice of Upper Itchen as well as Arle Valley spreading the evangelical word of the Ten Commandments, according to visiting Preacher J. John for an aspiring Billy Graham hereabouts.”
A speaker, writer and director of the Philo Trust – translating to a registered charity described as ‘committed to communicating the relevance of the Christian faith’ - J. John’s audio performances are transmitted live from Winchester Cathedral to Cressroads’ Church of St John the Baptist.
Performances that cast the evangelist in the Continuing Story of Cressroads for his take on the Ten Commandments over the next as many Thou-Shalt-Not Wednesday evenings given over to the visiting evangelist sounding off loud and clear in the heart of the one-time capital of England.
“You’ll come to St John’s to hear his live broadcasts?”
“Perhaps when it comes the Wednesday evening to catch your man unpack Thou shall not commit adultery under cover of How to Affair-Proof your Relationships,” Blogsbody half-promises.
After Trevor’s enthusiasm to assist in J. John’s mission to want to shepherd lost Cressroadians back to empty village pews is felt in the Primmer bar of the Arms. And when, who knows, but Lady Hyphen may wish to accompany Blogsbody and a perceived village heathen or two back to church for something more than a baptism, marriage or funeral service?
“You muse,”overhears Tichborne celebrity bard Charlie Ottley. His quill poised to commit the blog to verse. But saddling it with a satirically politically incorrect price to pay at the expense of the tabloid Daily Mail.
“Go for it,” excites horsey Sonic from behind the bar.
Come to relief manage and mind the Arms, after Nicky and Patrick jet off to the sun for as long as 72 hours to celebrate their wedding anniversary
