Continuing Story of Cressroads

By George, Freddie,

Not a whooper of a stiff-necked migrating Cygnus cygnus swan is sighted in Cressroads. But that could change, if one of the Icelandic super swans gets downwind of Reykjavik pinstripes investing in farming the town’s crop for UK supermarkets.

Atop of suffering the credit crunch, their having to continue to accept the voracious appetites of scores of native Mute swans necking and munching their way through £250,000-worth of locally grown watercress year on year.

Luxury food themselves, but becoming less so - swans, not invading, well-heeled Icelanders - if it were not for the Crown’s ancient claim to the nation’s swans.

Cygnets-grown-swans escaping a nicking on their bills - one nick from the bargemaster of the Dyers Company; or two for paddling foul of the swanmarker of the Vintners’ Company - as one or other worshipful guild of yesteryear is given a royal nod of approval to continue the centuries-old ceremonial rite of swan-upping.

But on London’s Thames, not Cressroads’ trickle of an Arle, where the harmless firing of a gas gun is returned by the snorts and hisses of irritated misstated mutes; and for local grower Tim Jesty, others like him, able only to cave in to a royal swan’s urge to continue to want second and third helpings of their unique aquatic plant grown in fresh spring water sourced from deep ancient artesian wells.

Water which filters gradually through the surrounding natural chalk downs, and for watercress to be cut daily to ensure its freshness at the supermarket.

Why, Freddie, the cast of the Continuing Story of Cressroads you came to film throughout most of a dozen hours on Tuesday was excited to see you return to town next day, and wanting to follow-up on a newsflash to the blog received from self-styled Mad Chef Littlejohn of Itchen Abbas.

Added as a comment to the blog, John-all-but-two-metres-tall flashed us: ‘Thanks for the pint at The Trout … 22 swans are munching through kilos of cress in the watercress beds along the road from Alresford to Bighton … moving them on requires permission from the Queen through her Officer of Swans.’

It was a few hours later - RE. IT’S ABOUT YOUR FRIGGIN’ SWANS, MA’AM - we received your reply to Blogsbody’s proposed memo to Her Majesty.

You replied: Went to see Tim Jesty, who tells of up to 62 swans feasting on the cress. They eat about 55 tonnes or £250,000 worth a year. Usually from November thru’ March, when they prefer fields of seed corn. Queen’s swan man seems unable to help. Wonderful story. Thanks so much. Will be on tonight. Best wishes, Freddie-the-Fox.

You guessed it, Freddie!

Urgent, please. A link, copy, or whatever for us to want to include your relevant BBC reportage on our website: www.blogsbody.co.uk 

 Kind regards, Mike