Cressroads’ Mr Blogsbody looks to make pay pals with Ms Therm
Good Easter Friday, Constance Chadderton,
Necessarily an open letter to your Manchester desk for reminding British Gas customers to pay their bills or risk instant disconnection.
As Blogsbody sought to explain, when we discussed the matter last evening, his clear understanding remains British Gas wishes him every evil to the end of his earthly days
Cursed, some many moons ago, for revealing red-faced Mr Therm’s new school for meter-reader inspectors in the Cheshire countryside is all-electric.
After the Daily Mail hack took an unauthorized poke around its kitchens, and satisfied his curiosity as to why the essentially modernized facility was off-limits to the visiting open-day press.
No, Constance, a younger Blogsbody did not change into a headscarf, frock and wrinkled stockings to gain entry.
But may be that is what your customer-history trace suggests?
And why, after answering your ‘phone call last evening to explain ‘Mr Irving’ was unavailable, you went on to quiz: “Am I speaking to Mrs Irving?”
“ … And you are?”
“Constance,” you reply.
“And do I sound as if I’m wearing a frock?”
“These days it’s ever more difficult to know,” you remain unsure.
“You’re from?”
“Chadderton.”
“Near Oldham … Tom Brennan … Roy Bottomley … Eamon Andrews’ This Is Your Life country. Pals of Blogsbody’s Deansgate days. Up the road from Granada TV’s studios … but, sorry. Constance … you’ve ‘phoned on account?”
“ … but you’ve made my day. When’s best for me to call again?”
“Monday week? Same time?”
“It’s a date,” we key our electronic diaries.
“And … “
“ … Yes?”
“I’ll wear my favourite frock.”
“Me, too,” you promise.
When Blogsbody looks to agree terms to resolve last quarter’s gas bill, while keeping his Lower House of Windsor’s fires burning; providing hot water for his baths; and, in the interim, you are sworn to end at once Mr Therm’s red letters and disconnection warnings.
Meanwhile, Constance, what do you reckon?
When advice on earning more than kudos out of blogging recommends inviting more and more folk to hit, enjoy and then donate through Pay Pal as a token or two of their appreciation.
If only to ensure Old Blogsbody stays warm through so many late nights turning early mornings in his Cressroads word factory, would a forgiving British Gas be wanting to set the ball rolling in its accounts department?
