Continuing Story of Cressroads

No, Bronnie,

Blogsbody did not forget your birthday. But rather he was reminded of your coming of an age tomorrow most in line with his three-score-year, end-of-terrace, city-built Cressroads Lower House of Windsor, where sparrows nest in the roof, water overflows and visiting cats crap all over Gary-the-Garden’s vegetable patch.

How many more years long may it all survive?

While experiencing a second agonizing bout of lower back pain, rubbed down with maximum over-the-counter strength Ibuleve gel, costing a penetrating £5.45 but affording some local relief; two Co-codamol tabs every four hours; and, as if you know my plight, you think to poke me with mobile ‘phone texts on the meaning of love from 21:44 through 03:14 this early morning.

Up, with difficulty some less than three hours later, to bus Sam to Winchester in time for him to catch the first Stagecoach to Worthy Down, where he happily continues to find work in a military cookhouse training young sergeants for chefs to feed the officer classes with grub to die for.

“Too many birthdays,” -  me not you, Ma’am -  diagnoses Cressroads’ Dr Green, between his hours spent moonlighting to tend Chelsea FC’s aches and pains, and recommending Blogsbody treats a pace-bowling consequence of his cricketing days by swallowing three tabs worth daily of Nature’s Best Glucosamine Sulphate with Chondroitin.

All of this atop a prescribed 75mg enteric-coated Aspirin for circulation, 2.5mg Bendroflumethiazide for blood pressure, 20mg film-coated Simvastatin for cholesterol and warned off grapefruit for the remainder  of life’s journey to a woodland burial.

Sorry, Bronnie. But if Blogsbody can’t share his medical notes with you on the eve of your birthday, who is there left for him to tell and know they aren’t remotely interested?

For his part (and trusting to Polish Royal Mail that you have received your birthday card), this town’s doddering, white-haired hack for a slippery silver surfer shares your 21:44 pain: I MISS MR BARNABY FINN SOOOO MUCH.

Reminded, as you well imagine, of Barney Peke’s incontinence by stained carpets for windows to once what was so not so normal, after you flew into the Irv’s cuckoo’s nest in desperate need of a port in your seaside housing storm.

As your 21:47 text seeks to remind me: BARNEY WAS SOMEONE REAL TO TALK TO AND HAD MORE INTELLIGENCE THAN ALL OF YOU PUT TOGETHER. WELL I GUESS HE DID HAVE AN ADVANTAGE. HE’D HAD HIS BRAINS REDIRECTED!

Or, as short as it gets, Barney’s renal surgery for kidney stones revealed that, before his £75-rescue from Weymouth’s Ark – a caged animal sanctuary within the confines of a kitchen in a Dorset council house – your Mr Finn underwent a bypass with a difference coming to mean, although he continued to cock a five-inch leg, his waterworks were redirected to evacuate directly from under his tail.

For the months Barney took up residence at the Lower House of Windsor, Trixie vacated to live next door with cat-widowed Jan-the-Swan. Or do you forget? Texting at 21:49 to imagine: UR THE ONE WHO BETRAYED BARNEY FOR A MUFCCAT. HOW CUD U?

Never, ever, Bronnie, has Blogsbody betrayed so much as the memory of your Barnaby Finn. And a question. Do Barney’s ashes remain at rest in the console of our JRK-the-Merc?

Finally, Blogsbody regrets responding with his three-letter affirmative to your 23:48 text asking: U KNOW WOT LOVE IS?

You want to tell me through 03:14 this early morning:  U DELUDE YOURSELF … IT DOESN’T EXIST … NO IRV U DON’T …  AND ONLY LOVE U HAVE KNOWN IS SELF.

So a sleepy, but happy birthday, Mike

DOLE NOTE:  Blogsbody must shine his hobnails. Lady Day again. And Tichborne Estate’s Anthony Loudon promises sacks of flour will again be blessed to share among some of the poor of Cressroads. All of this before drums beat out news you have ’solicitors coming out of your ears’. After asking whoever for a million pounds up front. For what? But here’s hoping, however much is forthcoming, your Rainbow’s End is at last yours to call your own and surely your best birthday gift of all.